Day 25

"You just reminded me of what's really important in life, friends, and best friends." - Fried Green Tomatoes

Yesterday, as you know I wasn’t feeling like myself. I was dragging because of the cold thing and just dealing with some other annoying issues. What I thought would be a bad day turned out to be a really great day. My friends pulled me up and out of any mood I may have been in. I was given get well gifts. The gifs came in the form of tough conversation, a walk and a bite of a waffle. In the form of laughter that always feels like a hug from “D”. In the form of hearing from an old love now friend who always makes me feel at least ten years younger. It came from “J” and “M” listening and laughing at the absurd events. All of these things made me realize how important it is to have friends not matter how they get into your life or how much of your life they actually share; they all contribute to who I am.
I have a lot of friends that are scattered across the country and world for that matter. I told “G” last night that next year when I’m the big “5-0”, I wanted to start visiting all of them. I want to share some real face time with the people that mean so much to me but I never see. I also want to make more time for the people that are closer. This past summer I spent a few days with my brother and it was incredible. We laughed, ate too much and just did nothing and everything. That is exactly the experience I want to share. A friend said that we could be like Thelma and Louise without the ending…LOL. I love that! I want to be reckless, fearless and draw all of my friends in on my 50 year adventure. Wanna come????

Day 24

To avoid sickness eat less; to prolong life worry less. ~Chu Hui Weng

Today I am not feeling 100%. I think I’m coming down with a cold or something. I’m generally very healthy but a few times a winter I get these cold “threats”. The threats are all the early symptoms but never the cold…. So, today I’m not sure if I can muster up the banter or the jocularity that I love to share.


But let me share one life changing thought that came to me last night, as I lay there hoping I would feel better. There are some things that will be better left in my forties, this one in particular. You see, I’m the kind of person that doesn’t know how to turn someone away, even when you realize that they could be harmful to your sanity. I always think of the other person’s feelings and end up with the short end of the stick. Like getting a haircut that you know makes you look like an alien but you tell the stylist that you “love” it, or not sending back the steak that’s raw that should have been well done. Well no more. I will not be obnoxious, or scary yelling lady, but I will be polite, courteous, and get exactly what I want and send back exactly what I don’t want. I think I’m feeling better already…LOL.

Day 23

“You can’t find peace until you find all the pieces”

I have a blackberry, and although I have been told I don’t use it to its full capacity, it serves me well. I get calls, (my #1 priority for a phone), I can text, I get my emails from my numerous accounts and I can get onto the internet when I’m walking around town (not sure why I need to), oh, and I do use the camera on occasion. But my favorite feature is the capacity to write myself notes. I have restaurants that I want to try, E’s clothing sizes, quotes, events that I want to attend, things that catch my eye, to do lists, ideas that just pop into my head (and there are many), things that my daughter has me on the hunt for, the color lipstick I want to try, and on and on. It has replaced all the scraps of paper that I use to carry around or the million cute little notebooks that I’ve brought just for that purpose but when I need them they are in another handbag. My Blackberry is one way that I’ve made my life a little easier. In it today I found the quote above. I’m not sure where I heard it but I’m sure it moved me as much when I heard it the first time as it did today It has me thinking about peace and when do we actually have/find peace. I thought that peace was maybe having people not give me a hard time or having things go my way. Not so. I realize now that I can’t control anyone’s actions but my own and trying to will give me anything but peace. I have been working on finding the pieces for a while, making myself the best that I can be. I know that at the end of the day I can truly say that I’ve done my best. I do fall short sometimes but for the most part I realize that doing my best is far better that being the best. So, as I look for the pieces to complete the puzzle that is me, I hope not only to continue to find peace but to be a peaceful influence on others. After all, I do have the hippy sandals….

Day 22

“The more things change, the more they stay the same”

New me~~~~Old me

On Sunday morning as I lay on my couch, catching up by phone on the past week’s events with my BFF, I was overcome with that wonderful fall feeling that I love. The sky was dark, it was windy, and the leaves are still on the trees and making that wonderful sound in the wind. It’s time for sweaters, wool, “cashmere”, flannel, boots and the like, I L-O-V-E the fall…you think. Because, in my head one thought leads to another leads to another, etc., etc. I started thinking about my favorite sandals (strange I know). These sandals were my favorite purchase for the summer of 2010. They fed the part of me that’s little flashy and the part of me that really believes, had I been born ten years earlier I would have been stringing beads and living in Woodstock. The sandals are my silver Birkenstocks. This summer they walked me up and down the strip in Las Vegas (with my 20 year old), walked me through the Village and Soho, to Union Square Market, to the opening night of Sex and the City (where Manolo Blanhik’s were the shoe of choice), to the opening night of Eat, Pray, Love (where my earthy shoes fit right in), to lunches, dinners and pedicures. They have been my true companions for the past three months. When I slip my feet into them I know that they will never hurt, pinch or blister my feet. I wish that everything was that simple, I will I could look on the internet put my card number in and few days later a solution would arrive. I realized also this summer how much I’ve changed but stayed the same in the last twenty years. One day when I was cleaning out my closet what did I find but the ancestor to my now favorite shoes. There they were a tan leather pair of Birkenstocks in the exact same style. I brought them 18 years ago, and as I slipped them on I remembered trips to St. Pete Beach, Tyrone mall (pushing a stroller), Disneyworld, Bush Gardens and all of the places they’d walked me through with my growing daughter in hand. I wore them a few times but they really didn’t feel the same. ( I guess I’ve changed but the shoes had stayed the same.) I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of them, I’ll take them out and wear them every once in a while and remember. Now at 49, I am the same wannabe hippy with a touch of fashionista, it’s a good feeling to know that I have been true to myself in some ways over the years. So, if history repeats itself, 18 years or so from now I will buy a new pair and this time…they’ll be gold with rhinestones.

Day 19

Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny... Frank Outlaw


The quote above really speaks to me and the way I would like to think I live my life. I really believe that we are in control of our destiny. We create our world. I’ve created my world good or bad. I have a book that I have given out as a present to many people. I introduced a friend to this book about 10 or 12 years ago and we both have used it as a guide to becoming better... This mysterious book is The Four Agreements. It’s a great book (at least I think so). So today I was wondering if maybe just maybe I am a little pushy. You see, when I find something I love I have to share it, be it food or a life changing book. Am I like one of those people shoving menus or flyer in your hand as you navigate through the streets, trying not to catch their eyes? I hope not. Well, here I am a wealth of information some useless some helpful for the world to tap. I think going forward I will not be as presumptuous as to assume that charting your destiny is as important to everyone as it is to “C” and I. I think the next book I will give out will be a book of jokes, haiku’s or how to bone a chicken in five steps or less.

Day 18

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” ~Oprah Winfrey

This blog is all about finding a way to celebrate the big 5-0. I was speaking to a friend last night and he asked me what I was planning. He told me that all of his friends that are turning 50 were planning BIG things. I told him that I would keep him informed and include him in the celebration. After our conversation I thought about it and realized that although I want to mark the day in some way doing something big is really not my style. Maybe a small dinner with friends, maybe no dinner and just an evening of desserts, maybe a spa day with my friends, maybe a romantic dinner….. (Remember my blog day one… I want to wear a red dress). I think that whatever I decide I now realize that I have made this into a 133 day birthday. I will be celebrating my day and myself every day until January 4th. How fabulous is that? On the final day of my blog I should (god willing) have gained more insight into where I was, where I’m going and where I want to be. That is the ultimate celebration. The best gift I can give myself is to be happy and realize that I’ve done my best. Oh…and I will be wearing a red or at least a sexy dress…even if I’m just having cupcakes and champagne.

Day 17 (I know, I know I missed 4 days..don't judge...LOL)

“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves” Joshua Loth Liebman


A friend that has been reading my blog said that he really likes it and that I should keep the humor in it. Humor seems to come naturally for me. I see the absurdity in most things and either have a running commentary in my head or share my thought with anyone willing to listen. I have a friend “D” and we have had running jokes for the past fifteen years. The words “white jumpsuit” will have us laughing until we’re gasping for air. There are a million triggers like that for us a lot funny and a lot heartfelt. With that said I head into this entry maybe without as much humor as I’ve had in the past. Lately I have been thinking about the things that trigger emotions in me. I have been looking back at my life as I plan for my “better” future, and in doing that I realized that I wear an invisible sash. A sash much like the ones worn by girl scouts. You know, the sash where they collect their merit badges for the world to see. Unlike a girl scout, my merit badges are not for, cooking, and sewing or community service. My sash is full of the badges of my mistakes. All my wrongs that I’ve deemed large or small, that I beat myself up about. Anyone that knows me would say that I am a good mother, good friend, good sister, daughter, listener, cook, girlfriend… Well, maybe almost everyone that knows me….LOL. So, because I believe that everything happens for a reason and that there are no mistakes only “learning opportunities”, I’ve decided to take off my sash of shame and forgive myself as I’ve done with others. I plan on heading into the next 50 years using the experiences (good and bad) as my rule book. This time when I wear my sash I will proudly display all of my badges the good and the bad and love everyone of them.


By the way, I was not successful over the weekend at staring into space blankly…..I thought of this idea while I was trying it out….