Day 56

If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself. ~ Norman Vincent Peale


I often find myself wishing for change. Hoping that miraculously something or someone would wave a magic wand and make whatever it is different. Writing this blog has made me see that I, without realizing it have become the change I’ve been looking for. I have opened up a can of thoughts that have forced me to either make changes or seek solutions. The changes have been both subtle and monumental. You see, I’ve changed, and without design my world has also changed. Everything has shifted. I’m being presented more choices. New choices that make old truths no longer relevant. I am seeing myself in a new light and being forced to make these changes. It’s funny how we see ourselves as victims of others circumstances, ourselves as powerless. This perception is untrue. We “are” able to make our own differences and changes. The universe has recognized that I am willfully making a change and has shifted my world. Feeling in control of your destiny is a powerful thing. I get to choose, who, what, when, where and how. I guess I’ve always had this super power; I’ve always been a super hero but never knew it. Maybe my hot red birthday dress will have the ability to change into a leather cat suit (smile). Now, the super powers will also have to work so only my "inner" sex symbol is showing in tight leather from head to toe. Hmmmm….

Day 53

“Where misunderstanding serves others as an advantage, one is helpless to make oneself understood” ~Lionel Trilling
mis•un•der•stand•ing  [mis-uhn-der-stan-ding] –noun

1. failure to understand correctly; mistake as to meaning or intent.
2. a disagreement or quarrel

I have found that it is very easy to be misunderstood. Your best intentions can sometimes seem to spin out of control when perceived negatively by another person. I have always been someone that wants to please all parties in any situation. This behavior has sometime been to my own detriment. It’s very true that “You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time”. For me this seems horrible...you mean “I can’t please everyone?” I think it’s important to realize that you can only do your best and you can’t be responsible for someone else’s best. I often find myself in the position of peace maker to my own drama, where I should just be a participant. I think I’ll have find my inner “mean girl” when it comes to standing my ground. (At least my perception of mean). I need to be a bully for my cause whatever it may be. I no longer take on the sole responsibility for misunderstandings…after all…who put me in charge of the world’s feelings. I affectionately pass the torch.

Day 46

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~ M. Scott Peck


I’ve been speaking with a friend this morning about finding answers. What happens, I find, is that when you’ve solved one mystery/problem another pops up. I use to constantly think, “Is this ever going to end?”, “Will I ever get past this?”and my all time favorite “Why me??” One day I realized that whatever catastrophic problem I thought I wouldn’t live through, I actually had. Now, I’m talking about the problems as small as, “Will my daughter ever get out of diapers?” or “Will he, he or he finally get it??” to much larger issues. Well, I think you get the point. Throughout my life I have had one hurdle or another, both large and small, which I’ve gotten over. They would encompassed my every thought, had me sick, shedding tears, making me doubt myself, my present, my future. That really sucks. So, now when I am faced with something that I’m sure I will never get through, I look back at the worst thing that’s ever happened to me and remember that without even realizing…one day I just got up, got myself dressed, did all the mundane things and it was no longer attached to me. I do admit that while going through whatever it is a broken heart, a disappointment or any other life altering event, it’s hard to just shake it off. I try to remember that I will survive and it will be behind me and it always works out. Unfortunately or fortunately it’s also safe to say that that without a doubt, waiting around the corner, there will be another mystery or challenge, looking to give me a shake, but now getting past them are my small victories.

Day 44

"The Mirror"

“We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions. We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in their place.” ~ Daniel J. Boorstin


I think I have witnessed a modern day miracle. Now, I do use the word miracle loosely but….
While on one of my many visits to IKEA, I was browsing the furniture and came upon a mirror. Now to the untrained eye this may seem like your run of the mill floor mirror, but it’s magic. You see , when I look in this mirror I am really at least 10 lbs thinner, everything is in the right place, I look dam good….LOL. I must confess I’ve visited the mirror often. Now I know this sounds crazy and I didn’t believe it myself...how could this be? One day while clothes shopping I went into the dressing room with a few dresses and there it was the IKEA mirror. I tried on the dresses and they all looked fantastic‼ The dress that I chose was a vintage slip, with spaghetti straps and lace insets. What a beautiful dress! Well, when I got home and tried on this beautiful dress in my mirror, I was horrified. What the heck???? What was I wearing??? What was I thinking??? How did my twins fit into this dress a few hours ago? Is that MY butt??? It was the MIRROR. Needless to say I’ve never worn the dress. So how does this translate to everyday situations? I find myself looking at things through a “magic mirror”. Things that otherwise would not look as favorable I somehow can distort into what I want to see. I suppose this could be a good thing in some cases, like pretending that medicine tastes like “raspberry flavored vodka”…lol. The problem lies in distorting bad feelings into euphoria. How many times have I made lemons into lemon aide? From now on I will look at lemons as lemons and not swallow the poison and think it’s a cocktail. After all I’m not the magic mirror.

Day 43

“We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us” David Seamands


I have wonderful memories, as I’m sure we all do. Memories of being a child in Jamaica, of relatives, friends, loves, my daughter. These memories put smiles on my face and keep me connected to a past. I’ve now come to realize that there are also memories that keep you trapped in the past. These memories keep you stuck because you they prevent you from seeing present situations. It’s so easy to fool ourselves into believing that bad habits are memories. I am guilty of holding on to thing for longer than I should because I believe that if I’ve stored enough memories it must be a good thing. The truth is, is that all situations change and you have to be willing to change with them or at least recognize when the good memories are not being created.
I find change very difficult. I spend over a hundred dollars a month to store memories. When is it time to let go? When is it time to move on? I think this is not a question I will answer by January 4th…. I think I will try to be more aware and recognize sooner rather than later, when the party’s over. Besides all of this, I look forward to all of my wonderful memories that are being created daily. With any luck I will have to get a larger storage room.

Day 39

When I was a little girl my grandmother use to quote from this book “The Prophet” all the time. In fact, it was sort of her version of the cat in the hat… I grew up loving this book and I’ve always had a copy. I love sharing it with friends , so today when I am just not feeling too “Bloggy” I thought I would share a little with you. Have a great weekend!

Self-Knowledge

By Kahil Gibran

And a man said, "Speak to us of Self-Knowledge."
And he answered, saying:
Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.
You would know in words that which you have always know in thought.
You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.
And it is well you should.
The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;
And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.
But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;
And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.
For self is a sea boundless and measureless.
Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."
Say not, "I have found the path of the soul." Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path."
For the soul walks upon all paths.
The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

Day 38



When you visualize, then you materialize. If you've been there in the mind you'll go there in the body. - Dr Denis Waitley

I know I’ve mentioned my vision board in a previous blog or two, unfortunately it still sits behind my dresser very dusty. Although I am a firm believer of vision boards, somehow don’t seem to be able to pull it out an update my visions. Fortunately, since writing this blog I have been using a part of my brain with has been hibernating for a very long winter. Because of this awakening I am now my own vision board. I now carry my vision board in my head. My mental board is constantly being updated with visions of love, happiness, vacations and yes the Cartier bracelet. This has brought so much love and happiness into my life lately. These thoughts are what I keep in the forefront of my mind. I have found that I have reconnected with old friends without effort, have found new ways of expression with current friends and have met wonderful new friends. This has made me wonder, how much do we miss because we've forgotten how dream or believe that the unattainable is attainable? My daughter still believes and dreams and the age of twenty, still “knows” that she can do/be anything she wants. Why do we have to forgo that because of age? Of course dreams change with age but how wonderful to have them and to know that whatever we want we can still have. What this means to me is that I choose to be happy, I choose love, I choose the positive. We still have choices every day. I’m starting to make the right ones.