“We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us” David Seamands
I have wonderful memories, as I’m sure we all do. Memories of being a child in Jamaica, of relatives, friends, loves, my daughter. These memories put smiles on my face and keep me connected to a past. I’ve now come to realize that there are also memories that keep you trapped in the past. These memories keep you stuck because you they prevent you from seeing present situations. It’s so easy to fool ourselves into believing that bad habits are memories. I am guilty of holding on to thing for longer than I should because I believe that if I’ve stored enough memories it must be a good thing. The truth is, is that all situations change and you have to be willing to change with them or at least recognize when the good memories are not being created.
I find change very difficult. I spend over a hundred dollars a month to store memories. When is it time to let go? When is it time to move on? I think this is not a question I will answer by January 4th…. I think I will try to be more aware and recognize sooner rather than later, when the party’s over. Besides all of this, I look forward to all of my wonderful memories that are being created daily. With any luck I will have to get a larger storage room.
When I was a little girl my grandmother use to quote from this book “The Prophet” all the time. In fact, it was sort of her version of the cat in the hat… I grew up loving this book and I’ve always had a copy. I love sharing it with friends , so today when I am just not feeling too “Bloggy” I thought I would share a little with you. Have a great weekend!
Self-Knowledge
By Kahil Gibran
And a man said, "Speak to us of Self-Knowledge."
And he answered, saying:
Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.
You would know in words that which you have always know in thought.
You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.
And it is well you should.
The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;
And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.
But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;
And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.
For self is a sea boundless and measureless.
Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."
Say not, "I have found the path of the soul." Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path."
For the soul walks upon all paths.
The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.
When you visualize, then you materialize. If you've been there in the mind you'll go there in the body. - Dr Denis Waitley
I know I’ve mentioned my vision board in a previous blog or two, unfortunately it still sits behind my dresser very dusty. Although I am a firm believer of vision boards, somehow don’t seem to be able to pull it out an update my visions. Fortunately, since writing this blog I have been using a part of my brain with has been hibernating for a very long winter. Because of this awakening I am now my own vision board. I now carry my vision board in my head. My mental board is constantly being updated with visions of love, happiness, vacations and yes the Cartier bracelet. This has brought so much love and happiness into my life lately. These thoughts are what I keep in the forefront of my mind. I have found that I have reconnected with old friends without effort, have found new ways of expression with current friends and have met wonderful new friends. This has made me wonder, how much do we miss because we've forgotten how dream or believe that the unattainable is attainable? My daughter still believes and dreams and the age of twenty, still “knows” that she can do/be anything she wants. Why do we have to forgo that because of age? Of course dreams change with age but how wonderful to have them and to know that whatever we want we can still have. What this means to me is that I choose to be happy, I choose love, I choose the positive. We still have choices every day. I’m starting to make the right ones.
"Run towards your fears. Embrace them. On the other side of your greatest fears lives your greatest life."
The statement above is the polar opposite of how I’ve treated my fears. I’d run from anything that I was afraid of. Or at least I did. Writing this blog was a huge fear because I would be exposing myself. It’s like having your diary posted on the bathroom wall. I was afraid that I would be opening myself up to criticism or worse laughs, talk about fear. But, in truth what I found out is that I could quite possibly have something to say. It feels good to know, that I might bring a smile, a new thought or maybe a laugh to the person reading it. I have to say, this is has been a wonderful journey. It makes me think of how many other wonderful things I’ve missed out on because of fear. How many times did I go in the other direction and miss a great experience. This has been a great lesson. This is an opportunity for me to become fearless to look ahead to “the other side” of my fear. The fear that I had about turning fifty has now turned into a wonderful life changing experience. I wonder how many other people are not staring down the monster and are missing out. Well, I am embracing the scary and standing up to my fears. I’m excited to think, that I am in the process of living my greatest life.
My best yoga pose....LOL
“We do our best that we know how at the moment, and if it doesn't turn out, we modify it.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt quotes (American 32nd US President (1933-45)
What are the expectations I have for myself and am I meeting them? Sometimes I set my expectations too high. I look too far down the road and the goal become unattainable. Those are the times I give up. I quit the diet, stop knitting the ten foot scarf, hide all the equipment I brought to become a sushi chef or stop writing my memoirs. You see, I always expect I’ll be the best rather than realizing I’m doing my best. Celebrating the small hour to hour victories is all I can handle some days. This week I am learning to have compassion for myself. I’m realizing that doing my best at any moment is all I can expect. If you like me believe in the laws of cause and effect, you won’t do what you shouldn’t do. If you can do something you must do it to the best of your ability. This is the formula for being your best. I've read that being your best changes from day to day. Your best is different when you’re ill, tired, rested, happy or sad. So instead of beating myself up when my best changes, I’ll give myself a pass and be my best again in the next hour.
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~Dalai Lama
I like to think that I live my life in a very conscious way. I try my best not hurt anyone’s feelings, follow "most" of the rules, offer the larger piece of anything to the other person. I’m always concerned at how any and all of my actions affect the other person. I think you get the picture. I’ve made a career of not stepping on toes. Lately I’ve come to realize that while doing what is deemed “good girl behavior”, I’ve been not so good to myself. It’s dawned on me that treating me well would not mean that I had turned into a villain. How easy, I realize, it is to leave yourself out of your life. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there that without realizing it forget to add themselves to their “to do” lists. I know I have…and I’m the queen of lists. If ever there is a choice between doing for myself or someone else I always lose. I’ve decided to make an effort to add myself to the list. To, dare I say…do for me first or at least second. Somehow I think clocks won’t stop; the world will not stop rotating, just because I take the larger piece of pie. I think that people will start to see the change in me and probably wonder if maybe I have a new love…and they’ll be right…..me.
You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one; each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.” ~ Paulo Coelho
Today on my way into work I was thinking about how I do the exact same thing every day. I wake up at the same time, shower, and watch a little bit of the news, get on the train, walk in the same direction, etc., etc. It made me think about my daughter. When I would drive her to and from daycare, she would always want me to drive in different directions. I would turn down a different street, take the highway, and get off at different exits, just to give her something different to look at. At first it was very annoying, I really just wanted to get where I was going as quickly as possible. But then I started to do it automatically. I would get in the car and ask her what direction she wanted to go in and off we went. I was never late, the world didn’t come to an end, and I gave her an adventure. We would always see something new. She would see a funny colored house, a really cute dog, a new park; I found stores, new neighborhoods and spent some fun time with her.
Now, she’s all grown up and is still the adventurer, constantly moving in a different direction. I somehow went back to following the breadcrumbs back and forth to work. I realize I’m missing the miracles around me. Somehow, I’m letting every day slip into the next, into the next. So as I move into the next phase of my life, I’m going to take a different route, start looking up instead of down and pay attention to every day miracles.
