“There is no such thing as chance; and what seem to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny.” ~ Friedrich von Schiller
I’ve often wondered about decisions that I’ve made. Turn left instead of right. Stay instead of go. Lie instead of truth. If you’re of the mind, like me, that every event in our life is predestined, then did I really make those decisions? Making any decision right or wrong would then mean that I did not have control. The universe somehow guided me to the inevitable outcome. I’m actually laughing as I write this. Am I trying to find a way to remove all guilt from any bad decision I’ve made. I can say this. The only time that I have regretted any decision that I’ve made was when I went against my first instinct. In my head, “Don’t go on that date”...I don’t listen and then he leaves me with the check or he leaves on the side of the road. “Don’t by those 3’ heels. You can’t walk in flats”…I don’t listen, wear them and trip stepping off the curb. Ok, these are silly examples but I’ve made some life changing decisions where I weighed instinct against impulse and impulse won. Those are the decisions I regret. I need to learn to trust myself. I need to listen to that “little voice” that never seems to fail me. I’ll be listening for that little voice the next time I pick Lotto numbers….obviously my impulses are not working.
“It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves.” ~ Andre Gide
I am in the mood for an adventure. Something that will take me away, even if just for a few hours. Ideally I would love the adventure to include a bungee jump off of a cliff head first into the Caribbean sea. Ok..that’s not going to happen. I need to see something I’ve never seen before. Taste some new exotic meal. Hear some heart pumping beats from a steal drum. Walk on a cobble stone street. You know what I mean. I feel stuck today. It’s that day for me to take the different route home. Who knows where this came from? Why today? Hmmmm? I think I've just been a worker bee lately..you know, no variation to my routien. So, today I will take that new route, turn up the music when I get home and make something terribly spicy for dinner. That’s where I’ll start. I need a mini vacation. A romantic dinner. A rollercoaster ride…I love them. I'm going to start building adventure into my life. Not wait for it to come to me but to run boldly, eyes wide open into adventure. This is exactly how I am facing my fear of turning the big 5-0. I am in 50’s face and daring it make me feel old. Now, I just have to figure out who’s butt I’m going to kick in my new blog….
“Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains...” ~Diane Ackerman
Yesterday I went perfume shopping. I wasn’t shopping around I went with one specific scent in mind. I wore this scent for at least ten years before I was lured away by advertisements and whiffs of passing friends and strangers. I tried out many fragrances trying to find my new”signature” scent. Trying to find a new, maybe more sophisticated me. Since my venture into sophisticated scents I have collected quite a few and never quite found the “one”. Then recently, I had a whiff of my favorite scent from one of those magazine scent samples and all of a sudden I was transported back in time. It was like a hug of memories. There are a million great memories tied to that scent. Too many to list. How did I abandon It.? There are times when I’ve smelled something that has transported me to another time or place. For instance, the smell of a pipe, (vanilla tobacco especially) will always remind me of my father. I have a lot of those, as I’m sure you do as well. In my quest to be something else I realized that I was losing something that made me, me. I’m learning it’s all about embracing who I am. I'm loving and learning who I am. I’m appreciating me... the total package. I am elated to be on this journey. Oh, and my favorite scent, how apropos is called “Happy”.
“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.” ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
I consider myself a very good listener. I am usually able to recall conversations and site dates, times even outfits. “You were wearing the blue shirt on October the 10th, at 9pm when you said….” I pride myself on being able to make corrections on someone’s memory of an event with minute detail. Well, I don’t really think that’s what a good listener is. I have a great memory but am I really listening. Do I give my full attention or do I just pick out key elements to hold in my memory. What brings this to mind is that a friend of mine “DB” was able to repeat something I’d said and convey the emotions with which I expressed it? I was amazed. I realized that this person really heard me. (My other friend “C” and I know each other so well we have our own listening language so that doesn’t count….sorry C) I recently heard or read somewhere that when you listen to someone you need to be absolutely present and give them your full attention. (I thought I had been.) After they’ve finished you repeat what you think you heard to make sure you’re not putting your own spin on it.( I think I am a spin master) I believe a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings I’ve suffered could be because I actually didn’t listen, or possibly the person I was speaking to was guilty of the same. Is it too much to give my undivided attention? Is that voice in my head, that’s waiting for my second to jump in, so loud that I’m not hearing? I am going to make a conscious effort to listen not just to memorize key points. I am publically apologizing to anyone I may not have heard and thought that I did. I will listen to you with my head and heart. I will be present. You will have my full attention. I will be exactly who I want you to be….
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust (French Novelist and Author, 1871-1922)
I’ve mentioned before my love of travel in a earlier blog. I want to see as much of the world as I can. I’m fascinated by peoples day to day lives, how they live, what they eat, all that "they" see as mundane thrills me. In Paris I ate crepes, shopped at Marks & Spencer, and browsed antique shops and museums. In Jamaica I ate Jerk Pork, shopped at the craft market and climbed Dunns River and devoured the beach. I want to experience everything. The smells, the sights, the sounds. I don’t have to cross waters to experience any of this; it can be as close as a subway ride away. It can be as close as opening my eyes... I am actually starting to realize that lately my life has become a voyage. I am discovering the most exciting adventure….me. I am getting to know myself again and I'm feeling so comfortable sharing my discovery with the world at large. I think I stopped seeing myself as interesting. I let one day blend into the next, one year to the next. I stopped being my own adventure. It’s so easy to just accept and close your eyes. It’s easy to let your world turn gray. I’m starting to see my world in color once again. I’m starting to see what’s been there all along. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to celebrate myself and find as much fascination in me as I do on a distant voyage. I think I will hold off on renewing my passport…I’m my own adventure for now.
“Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.” ~ Garrison Keillor
I’ve always considered myself a lucky person. I’ve never won lotto or a contest and the most I’ve won in Las Vegas was $50. Somehow, I have come to think of any setback as a way to take inventory, another way reason to make a list. Is luck getting what the other person has? Is luck having your wildest dreams come true? I don’t think so. Maybe real luck is learning to appreciate what we already have. Luck is appreciating the gifts that are given to us every day. Those gifts given without having asked for them. Seeing beyond the tangible to the place that is fulfilled by what we overlook… that’s real luck. Sometimes we keep expecting something big to happen and in doing that we stop seeing what’s right there. Our luck is our luck. It’s what makes us unique. It’s not what we read or see other people experiencing it’s what ” we” have, and being able to see that is what makes me feel lucky. I wouldn’t give up a minute of the past 49 years, or change my luck. Every second was filled with the luck that brought me here. I am consciously making the decision to see my luck and live it. I’ll still carry my lucky coins and maybe even purchase a rabbits foot, but all the luck I need I already have.
If anyone has read even one my blogs you know I am a lover of quotes. I do so hope that one day something I say will be quoted as a pearl of wisdom :-). Yesterday while looking for a quote I found that there were just so many on the topic of "change" that I loved. I eventually picked one but couldn’t let go of these. Please accept this gift of quotes. I hope that they put a smile on your face, conjure a new thought or answer a question. I try to never forget that we already have all the answers that we need, sometimes we just need a jolt to find them. Quotes have done that for me from time to time, they've helped me find the pieces in my head. Enjoy!!
Growth is a painful process.~Wilma Mankiller
Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives.~ Frederick F. Flack
Everything you now do is something you have chosen to do. Some people don't want to believe that. But if you're over age twenty-one, your life is what you're making of it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities.~ John C. Maxwell
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. ~ Barack Obama
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. ~ Carl Rogers
The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.~ W. E. B. Du Bois
To change one's life, start immediately, do it flamboyantly, no exceptions. ~ William James
The future has a way of arriving unannounced. ~George Will
If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.~ Charles Kettering
