“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.” ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
I consider myself a very good listener. I am usually able to recall conversations and site dates, times even outfits. “You were wearing the blue shirt on October the 10th, at 9pm when you said….” I pride myself on being able to make corrections on someone’s memory of an event with minute detail. Well, I don’t really think that’s what a good listener is. I have a great memory but am I really listening. Do I give my full attention or do I just pick out key elements to hold in my memory. What brings this to mind is that a friend of mine “DB” was able to repeat something I’d said and convey the emotions with which I expressed it? I was amazed. I realized that this person really heard me. (My other friend “C” and I know each other so well we have our own listening language so that doesn’t count….sorry C) I recently heard or read somewhere that when you listen to someone you need to be absolutely present and give them your full attention. (I thought I had been.) After they’ve finished you repeat what you think you heard to make sure you’re not putting your own spin on it.( I think I am a spin master) I believe a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings I’ve suffered could be because I actually didn’t listen, or possibly the person I was speaking to was guilty of the same. Is it too much to give my undivided attention? Is that voice in my head, that’s waiting for my second to jump in, so loud that I’m not hearing? I am going to make a conscious effort to listen not just to memorize key points. I am publically apologizing to anyone I may not have heard and thought that I did. I will listen to you with my head and heart. I will be present. You will have my full attention. I will be exactly who I want you to be….
