“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves” Joshua Loth Liebman
A friend that has been reading my blog said that he really likes it and that I should keep the humor in it. Humor seems to come naturally for me. I see the absurdity in most things and either have a running commentary in my head or share my thought with anyone willing to listen. I have a friend “D” and we have had running jokes for the past fifteen years. The words “white jumpsuit” will have us laughing until we’re gasping for air. There are a million triggers like that for us a lot funny and a lot heartfelt. With that said I head into this entry maybe without as much humor as I’ve had in the past. Lately I have been thinking about the things that trigger emotions in me. I have been looking back at my life as I plan for my “better” future, and in doing that I realized that I wear an invisible sash. A sash much like the ones worn by girl scouts. You know, the sash where they collect their merit badges for the world to see. Unlike a girl scout, my merit badges are not for, cooking, and sewing or community service. My sash is full of the badges of my mistakes. All my wrongs that I’ve deemed large or small, that I beat myself up about. Anyone that knows me would say that I am a good mother, good friend, good sister, daughter, listener, cook, girlfriend… Well, maybe almost everyone that knows me….LOL. So, because I believe that everything happens for a reason and that there are no mistakes only “learning opportunities”, I’ve decided to take off my sash of shame and forgive myself as I’ve done with others. I plan on heading into the next 50 years using the experiences (good and bad) as my rule book. This time when I wear my sash I will proudly display all of my badges the good and the bad and love everyone of them.
By the way, I was not successful over the weekend at staring into space blankly…..I thought of this idea while I was trying it out….
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